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2003-03-22 - 6:25 p.m.

Okay long day, not over yet.

I went to the big family thing. I was photagraphed, hugged and handshook. I ate chicken and stuffing. It was not super horrible. I am too hard on my family. Even the ones I usually find annoying and stupid made me laugh. Hell, you get enough people at a table to laugh loud enough, theres no way you can't at least crack a smile, even if the joke is dumb. I think perhaps thats a part of what being in a family is all about. I feel guilty for being so antisocial. Everyone was nice to me, and invited me to visit them at home. I don't know why they make me so uncomfortable, and I'm just a little jealous of the bonds with each other that all of them seem to have. My sister said "Don't be so strange, come visit us." I kinda shrugged. I've heard "Don't be a stranger" before but never "Don't be so strange." I guess for me it kinda fits. Now, I'm not all of a sudden going to become super outgoing popular family dude or anything, but I'll at least reconsider some of my long-held and completely unfounded grudges. I had a very sober ride home with my Uncle and his wife. Maybe an hours journey with no music and no conversation. I'm used to long car rides, but Jesus. Anyway I had time for introspection.

Actually I always have time for introspection, I'm hardly ever thinking about whats right in front of me. I am way to absent minded to die of old age. One day I am just going to walk out across the driveway holding a metal ladder vertically, and electrocute myself because I way thinking of some story idea, or about some girl I like, or something like that.

I wish I had a buddy or two around to play video games with and drink a 30 rack of budweiser. I miss my friends in Boston pretty bad.

"I'd go to your old neighborhood in the suburbs and find the things that must have been magic to your little girl eyes..."

Oh by the way I finished RAN. It was awesome. This aging warlord passes dominion of the empire to his sons and all hell breaks loose. Remind you of any aging warlords we know? I'd like to see G.W. and Jeb compete for the presidency with katanas. My favorite part is how the old warlord roams the country all senile and delerious with only his jester and the ghosts of his past left for company. Lots of long shots of just billowing clouds and green mountains. Definetely worth another viewing sometime. I think this is my longest entry yet. I'm gonna find some pie.

Favorite song of the moment: "Roots Radicals" -Rancid

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