2003-04-17 - 11:16 p.m.
Tried chardonnay for probably the first time. Its a good drunk, like a champagne drunk. For the third night in a row, the moon is just amazing. Everything outside is bright though its nearly midnight. I'm sort of afraid of the dark, but not tonight.
The other night Twink said "No self respecting woman is afraid of the dark."
To which I replied "Well, every intelligent man should be."
I think I get her. So rare in this world to just get someone. And then to not be able to be with them.. there is the tragedy I dwell on so much. Bah, enough tragedy. seriously.
I feel like doing everything I am afraid of. Driving aggressively through Boston traffic, running through the woods at night laughing, running my fingers through the hair on a tarantula's abdomen. Grabbing the girl I can't have and kissing her until she melts.
Always back to the girl. Hey I'm young, I'm human. Oh well. Gotta get some sleep. I may be tending bar tomorrow after all. I think I've kept this job because it's as fickle as I am. Always crazy, always something to do.
Are you an alcoholic?
Are you insane?
Both of these questions I answer by cocking my head and thinking about it really hard.
Favourite song today: "Cumming Into My Own" -Lunachicks
(awesome song by crazy new york punk girls about liberation through masturbation. I'm so pissed at myself for getting drunk and leaving that cd on a train)
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