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2003-05-08 - 9:21 p.m.

Nine hour day today, ugh. I gave the little fucker a ride home. That's the cool thing about working at a small business. The CEO does the same work I do, and he asks me for a ride home. There's no endless chain of middle managers to obfuscate and infuriate things. If I have a problem, I go right to the top, and that's only as far as the guy making sandwiches next to me. And at the end of a long day, I totally don't feel like shooting myself in the face. Which is good. I remember standing in the subway after a long day of phone work in Boston, and feeling like, "What the fuck did I do today?" I would look at the guy asking for change and give him a quarter, not out of pity or compassion, but because I felt the work he was doing was no less legitimate than what I was doing. I'm not saying I'm in love with my job. Many mornings I'm pretty surly and I feel like I want to quit, or bite somebody. But generally by the end of the day I feel allright, good even. I feel physical pain that somehow validates it all.

Well, it's still a bit early, I'm alone in the middle of nowhere, I kindof want some beers, though I know that wouldn't be a constructive thing to do. Ah fuckit.

Favourite song today: "Bloody Night, Bloody Knife" -The Independents

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