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2004-06-25 - 10:32 p.m.

So I havent updated. The server is busy a lot and so am I. Don't worry, I still exist, I just don't talk about it as much. I wouldn't want to depress you with many tales of long days at work and my constant internal debate about life without love and whether or not its all worth it.

I learned something the other day that sort of confirmed a lot of my cynical fears about relationships. I said in my online dating profile I wanted a "synergy greater than the sum of it's parts".. I'm an idiot, and I've been one for a long time. I can't help replaying stupid things I say and do in my head over and over. I feel like those people are right to snicker maliciously in my general direction.

Moths are the best animals. The best insect at least. They're the only insects I will allow to crawl on me. I like the way they fly around all drunkenly like they totally don't know what the hell they're doing. I respect their seemingly zombie-like oneness of purpose. They want the light, to be as close to it as possible. they plaster themselves against the outside of my window, fuzzy little night pilgrims in all shapes sizes and colors. There was a big one in here the other day, I named him maurice.

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