2004-08-06 - 2:17 a.m.
So I was chatting with a girl I met through some website, and somehow the topic of how I hate julia roberts came up. So I'm trying to explain why and the whole while feeling very self conscious, knowing how upset people can get about stuff they like a lot or don't. It's dumb because its all subjective and doesn't matter at all, but thats what fires people up the most it seems. I was practically assaulted at work by some girls who wanted to know why I like Johnny Cash. And I don't even love Johhny Cash, they were just irritated with me for not hating him. Anyway, I don't like talking about stuff I hate, for that reason, and it occurs to me that I've never even seen a julia roberts movie, and I don't know her personally and I don't actually know why I hate her myself, or even if I really do, just at one point or another in my life, probably in my angry teenage years, I decided I hate her, and I've never had a good reason to decide not to. All the while this person is judging me, as she should, as anyone should when getting to know somebody for potentially romantic reasons. And I know that it doesn't look good for me to say that, and I don't have to at all, but it slips out just like that. "I hate Whoopi Goldberg, Julia Roberts, and Steven Seagal." How can I hate Pretty Woman? She's so pretty! Is there a value in being so honest? And honesty is kind of ambiguous to me. I've said this a thousand times, but I don't beleive in truth, I beleive in perspectives. You can have a lot of negative perspectives about someone, and you can choose to share those perspectives with them, and doing so may make you perceive yourself as "brutally honest", but really, it just makes you a jerk. And if you really beleive that the way you see it is the single one and only way it is, than you're an idiot as well. That's be being brutally honest with you. I don't know who "you" is exactly here, maybe its me, maybe its her, maybe nobody. Maybe I'm a jerk. I'm all perspective and no focus. I don't know what I mean, and I can't stand up for anything. I'm running around in circles blindfolded with a chainsaw. No thats a computer game. A damn good one I might add. Maybe I just wasn't meant to be with a girl. I look at the beginning of a relationship and all I can see is the end, all the little differences that will tear us up and send us our separate ways, sooner or later. Maybe I'll keep running around in the dark and hope beyond hope I run into an awesome girl who hates julia roberts and likes video games, and that when I do, I don't cut off anything vital.
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