2004-11-20 - 11:10 a.m.
Dear friend,
These past few years I've sort of been in hiding. I went out into the real world, which subsequently kicked my ass, and now I've retreated back to my teenage fantasy land where nothing can touch me. I know I'm past due to move on, I feel guilty at what time I may have wasted, what it all might have done to me, but a part of me doesnt care too much either. I don't believe in god anymore, I don't believe in destiny, I'm trying desperately to believe in myself, with varying degrees of success. I'm certainly not as depressed or angry as I once was, or rather, those things have sort of blended more into my everyday consciousness, I don't have so many violent outbursts. I wish I saw you more, but I need at least a little more time. It's not easy, as I'm sure you know. My skin is not so thick as some people. I envy how tough you can be, or at least your ability to put on a strong face where I might cower. I don't have point here really, just I know I don't write so much as I once did. So, an update is in order, even if nothings changed for a while. Hope everything is good with you. 'Till next time,
Andy
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