2005-01-02 - 5:44 p.m.
I am no good with people. I think I would prefer to live among the muppets, and learn their ways the best I can. Since I guess thats not really possible, I guess I could just make some regular puppets and put one on each hand and pretend they're my roomates or something. Then if one of them displeases me I can smash its head to a pulp and scream at the pulp till I lose my voice and I'd never get in trouble. Trouble is the domain of other people.
Analyzing my mistakes. I find there's usually never anything wrong with what I do, but there's often something wrong with the reason why I do it. I think my new years resolution will be to try to always go with what feels right.
I've felt really really angry and upset at myself the last couple of days. It's good for me to purge stuff out on paper sometimes, it lessens the stress on my brain. It also means I sometimes write ugly negative stuff. Comparatively. Some online diarys are shrines to suffering, and thats okay for them, I hope it helps, but thats not what this is about for me, so I guess when I do get bitchy, I feel the need to explain myself like this, and to say don't worry about me, because I'll work through my crap eventually and find my good energy again.
Anyway, I gotta get cracking on those puppets. I think I'll put tomatoes in the heads so they smash better.
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