2005-01-26 - 2:15 a.m.
Missed a couple days. I'm still here, sort of. I've been having one of those what the fuck am I doing sort of weeks. One of those weeks where I pay too much attention to everything around me.
I spend a lot of time trying to figure stuff out. What I've figured out, is that you don't have to. Humans don't learn how to do things so much as just adapt to them by doing them. If you want to be a better dancer, you dance. If you want to be a better writer, you write. If you try to take it apart and analyze it, not only will you not get any better at it, you'll waste a lot of time. People don't have it figured out, not even the smartest people. They have a lot of ideas, and they talk about them a lot, but a lot of it is speculation and bullshit. There's an important line between the people who can tell you a lot about, say, dancing, and the people who dance.
I'll attempt to make my idea clearer. When I do something, and do it a lot, I adapt to it. I don't know anything more about it than I did before, I'm better because I did it and I've become used to it. I've changed shape to adapt to it. When I talk about something, but never actually do it, I get bogged down in the details, in the minutiae, and all that. I ponder over stuff that when I actually do the thing, I find out doesn't even apply. Okay, I totally failed my attempt to make that clearer.
I don't know. Studying things can provide entertaining insight, but it's never real. We can't ever know. We can only do. And I'll throw in my trademark creed: There is no truth.
Brain is fried. Video games are bad for you. Latley I've been dreaming in them.
Good night.
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