2005-02-18 - 1:00 a.m.
The great thing about being a terminal pessimist is being wrong most of the time. That's also why horror movies are great, because nothing is ever that bad.
Going to bed feeling there's something left to do is a crappy feeling, but you kinda get numb to it after a while. I keep thinking like there's going to be a time when things are more in focus, when I'm not spinning in circles and feeling all dizzy from looking at everything too much, and that's when I'll start doing this stuff. This stuff I want to do. But theres nothing like doing it for getting it done, or so the experts say.
There's been a spot on my carpet here for a couple days where I know there's broken glass, and when I'm barefoot I make a conscious effort to step around it. The frigging vacuum is within two steps of where I sit. It could all be over in two or three minutes, and I wouldn't have to think about it anymore.
Maybe if I do that now, I'll be able to sleep better. Then again, it's just a metaphor for the other stuff I need to do, and I've got to have little things to keep track of, things left unresolved, here and there, crises waiting to happen like so many spinning plates. This is how I keep my sanity.
Okay, I'll clean it up, jeez.
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