2005-04-11 - 10:46 p.m.
A girl quit today, she was going to work this weekend while I go play dungeons and dragons in boston. So now no one can work those days, and all holy hell is going to break loose tomorrow when the little fucker reads her note. So guess who is going to get shafted here? yeah. I can't be mad at the girl though, in a way I envy her. I wish I could just do that. And I totally get it. Yesterday was going to be a day off, but I worked so that another girl from work could go to her art show opening. I had nothing better to do, and I made extra money, so I don't feel bad about it. But I feel like this is just going to keep happening. I'm the one with no life, I can give up everything for this stupid job. I do need money. But I need other things. Mainly, I need to find out what those things are. I feel spun in circles all the time, caring less and less every day, and despising every person who walks in that door.
I want to live in an environment where I am able to save money, yet I have some degree of independance and free time, I want to be around people who are intellectually stimulating, people who make and do stuff, and encourage and co-operate in the doing and making. I want to be around people who are crazy and have fun, but aren't lost in themselves. I don't want to get drunk every day and live from paycheck to paycheck. I don't want to die with this aching feeling in my gut that there's something missing.
Things are changing everywhere. What to do?
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