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2005-04-26 - 12:07 a.m.

Weird day. I got all messed up in the morning, I was trying to do my morning thing, but got interrupted. I hate that, I rarely have regular routines, but when I do I hate hate them getting squashed, and I want to just scream. So bad I want to scream. Got through the day allright, tried to write some stuff for my new project, but couldnt get far, I decided to have a break. I went blind for like a minute. It was weird. I just went to check my email and couldn't see, everything was a bright brown flashing fog. I tried not to freak out and it went away. I'm tired, I'm frustrated, I want this day to end.

I bought a buck rogers little big book from 1934 yesterday. On the inside cover is written "Leroy". I wonder if Leroy is still alive. I wonder if he fought in world war 2, I wonder if he remembers Buck Rogers and the Moons of Saturn.

Sometimes, I question weather I'm really smart, or if I just think I am. It's one thing I'm still really insecure about. When someone calls me dumb, it really gets me, because I partially believe it. I gotta stop letting stuff worry me so much.

Did I mention my new project? Yes a new one. I was talking to John, and talking to Marty, and they had some legitimate and helpful advice, and it was that I should either just do my project or do something else. So I've set aside my much agonized over "secret project", and started a new project, a not so secret project. A collaboration even. It's a cartoon! Yay. It involves this guy and this guy and this guy. Totally ambitious, but I'm hoping the involving other people thing will motivate me to keep writing and making good stuff. We will see. No! We will do! We will conquer! YAAARRH!! Scream, it's good for you. Nobody screams or does funny accents anymore.


Fuckena

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