2006-04-07 - 1:09 a.m.
I overheard one of my co-workers referring to me as "that really cool guy I told you about" to her friend. You'll have to excuse my ego trip, but it's nice to be really cool. There are a lot of things I'll never be, but "really cool" is something I can live with. I should make t-shirts of myself with the caption "Really Cool Guy!" and give them to all my friends. Okay, I'm done.
My boss said to me the other day, "I don't think you like working here anymore." Not in a critical way, just in a kind of a matter of fact observation sort of way. It's almost like he's giving me licence to leave. This job has been my excuse for not doing so yet. "Where else am I going to get a job that I like, that I can stay ahead with, that I'm qualified for?" That's what I say. And it's somewhat legitimate, but probably not as important as my need to get the fuck out of maine. A good friend recently told me that if I leave, I shouldn't half-ass it. That's very true, another important piece of this plan I need to put together. I talked to another friend today, a very frank sort of fellow. "You live in the countryside, alone with your parents, who you can't communicate with, it must be very lonely for you." Yeah, that's true, it's more objective than I usually am, but when you just say it like that, yeah. Ouch. Also, I need some kind of half-decent insurance. It costs an assload of money to fix an american. There is nothing even remotely similar to half-decent insurance available in this state.
It's still not easy.
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