2007-07-12 - 7:36 p.m.
Life slips by fast if you let it. But then again, you can't really hold on. I'm here in my room, kind of in need of a shower, wearing swim shorts fro lack of something better to do.
THis is a summer of a frustrating kind of growing up. A sad and overdue realization of the end of certain things that just couldn't last. Maybe sad is the wrong word. A lot of things make me a little sad, but it doesnt mean they're bad or un-useful.
A big kind of real sad is coming up. My girlfriend and I are going in separate directions. It's sort of been foreshadowed allready. Shes so busy with her job we really don't see each other so much. Things downshift. "I love you" is now "I really like you a lot." And theres nothing negative about it. There's just nothing I can do. It was really really sweet getting to know her, and I feel lucky. She's my four leaf clover, and I can't just press her in a book and keep her forever. We are both young, living people who are doing our things. In a month or two, her thing will be in san francisco, or somewhere near there, and mine will be in backwoods maine, going to school full time. I can't say how things are going to turn out. But its going to be different. Maybe somewhere down the road, our paths will cross again. I hope so, I know I'll always love her, even if I can't really say it out loud right now, like some unutterable curse on myself.
Almost time to work again. The week feels a bit wasted. Like so many.
�
0 comments so far�
