2008-03-05 - 10:12 p.m.
diaryland got all fancy like. makes me wanna put the lappy in my lap.
I am incredibly hopeless with women. I'm technically an adult, but I can't get past the stage of recognizing interest. This girl I've been talking to. in a "hey you want to hang out?" kind of way. I thought it was going good, as in the "sure, hanging out would be cool," kind of way.
Well I see her in the hallway yesterday evening, and I pretended I didn't see her and walked past like some kind of tool.
I know she saw me. totally pathetic. You know what? she's better off without an idiot like me. I don't need to complicate things here anyway.
Thats what relationships are, complications. They have their nice points, but for me there is just this constant fear, this sinking, frightened feeling that I am going to fuck things up, and it's a self fulfilling prophesy.
I think when it comes to girls I am into, my need to be liked somehow transforms into a need to be hated.
Fucking stupid me. The only people dumber than me are people who claim to understand human behavior. Which reminds me, I've made an appointment to talk to one tomorrow morning.
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