2005-12-05 - 9:46 p.m.
Realized my debit card was expired at a critically bad moment. Ouch.
I've cleaned up a bit down here. I still feel generally unsettled. So frustrated. Everywhere I look, there is life, just out of reach. At every chance, every possibility, I slip that much further back, like some bad dream. Or like something engineered. All this pressure not to change, to stay here and choke on the dust. from inside and out, I can't take it, I'm unhappy.
On the other end of things, I seem to be making new friends lately, relationships are stronger, I'm more confident than ever before. Perhaps I am capable of getting what I need, if only with the help of these people.
What is it, that thing I need again? shit.
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