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2007-02-04 - 9:52 p.m.

So hey diary.

Lots of traveling, lots of caffeine. I wrote a few things about this on myspace. but thats not real. You know.

Because this is so real.

I'm sorry, my head's just kind of buzzing and I feel silly.

I've done some touristy type things, enough to satisfy myself I think. Most of my enjoyment here comes from just walking around, talking to people and drinking tea. yeah tea, bitch.

And Its clear to me now that I want to live here, and that this is now the #1 priority in my life. For real, I love this city. I'm not one who has epiphanies or religious type revelations, but my life needs a change, and nothing has felt this right in a long time.

The phillipines were cool, they were also utterly tragic and chaotic, not something I could deal with in the longterm. Taiwan is nice, but still too hot, and too sweet, and too clean, theres nothing there for my heart to sink its teeth into.

Beijing though, beijing is beautiful. It's dirty, but not so dirty I'm afraid of falling through a hole in the street into a pile of dead hookers. It's sweet in its own way, but not sugary sappy stick-to-your-shoes constantly kind of sweet. There are wonderful people here. there are a lot of people here. fifteen million. The place is huge. Its polluted, its got depressed business-people jaded urbanites, hair obsessed youth, frazzled taxi drivers and gong-show traffic jams, lots of lounges, a bar or two, great fucking food and cheap, lots of ladies, lovely ladies and more ladies. I'm going to face up to some old fears and get this shit done. I want it, I can do it. I want you to come visit me, because I'll miss you quite I bit, I will, you mean more to me than you know, and I know I've been a jerk sometimes, but... and look at me talking like its allready happened.

I've a lot more to say about this.

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